Navigating Expectation And Disappointment
~Emotional Maturity and Where we get Stuck~
We have all experienced this. We have a situation where we want a specific outcome to occur and it doesn’t live up. Then comes the forceful, initial emotional flood of response which may include Disappointment, Frustration, Anger, Blame, Despair, Remorse, Resentment or Anxiety. Oftentimes there is a temptation to respond only from the emotional place, and if it is a negative emotion then resistance to it may occur. This then causes us to revolve around in the feeling, creating more and more discomfort. When we can move past the emotional information into what it is informing us, using it as a tool to navigate our need to respond instead of it being the response itself – that is emotional maturity.
~Allowing the Information to Flow~
In a natural system our emotions are just information. They come in to our awareness as an offering of where we are or are not aligned with our Higher/Greater/Inner Self; where we can attend, specifically, to the location and context of what is needing to be released or cleared; how we are in flow and resonation with the environment and conditions around us; how we have adjusted in perspective. Much like the pain we feel if we cut our skin, the physical pain itself is an indication to attend to the wound, to clean and bandage it and pay attention to the healing that occurs. We don’t stop at the feeling of pain, we see that it is simply directing our attention, as a useful tool. Resistance is the opposite of allowance and is the number one thing that creates stagnation, discomfort and lack of flow. Finding tools that help to move from resistance into allowance are imperative to navigating the Remembrance and Evolution process.
~Consider This: There is Always more Depth to come…Always~
We only get what we can use, at every point on the path. If you had all that you think you want and need immediately that would be a disservice to your growth process. If you chose to attend a school or training, it would be completely silly to skip to the end. Receiving the certificate without each step that precedes it would make that certification useless.
We can choose to be present in the step on our path that we are currently at – with the trust that it is providing us with everything that we need to be ready for the next step.
~Sometimes it’s a Protection~
At times, the outcome we want is not for our highest good. We can often see that in hindsight – that dream job that we did not get hired for would have interfered with an upcoming opportunity; the relationship that ended was a distraction from stepping into our own sovereign power; the rejection of an offer of friendship positioned us to find a more loving and appropriate relationship. We cannot always cognitively know with our brains exactly what we need in every context, which is why we can trust the divine self to guide us – even in the moments where it doesn’t make sense and creates emotions that are not positive, there is always a plan in place that honors our Highest Good.
~Emotion is only One Aspect of the Information~
Our emotions show us where we are aligned and not-so-aligned with the Highest/Inner/Greater aspects of ourselves. When we feel a visceral negative emotional response, that can be likened to an alarm going off that indicates a need to investigate further. This alarm can indicate where our belief system is imposed, not our own, or it could be an intuitive message to get out of that situation – but we cannot distinguish between the two potentials until we go beyond the emotion into the information it is leading us to. When we are emotionally mature and have exercised the ability to go deeper, it becomes a natural process and we no longer get stuck in feeling anger, regret or blame – we pass easily through those alarms into thoughtful, productive response.
~Ultimately, it comes down to the Now Moment~
When we are pulled into Past or Future we are unable to respond to the Now moment and that is a thought-form trap. The now moment is the only real thing, it is the only place from which we can operate effectively. So when we notice that we have been pulled by our emotions into a past or future mindset, the very first action is to come into the now moment, into the body, into the emotional information of Now. Intentional breathing is the most immediate and effective way that to bring oneself into the now. Deep, slow, abdominal breaths and full exhalations. Adding color and intention to both the inhale and exhale can add potency to this tool. Checking in often to whether we are breathing appropriately can also keep us in the now moment.
~There is always more Opportunity than Misfortune in the Trials that Manifest in our Life Experiences~
Every single challenge in our experience as humans is also an opportunity. There is always something sacred in the disappointment, the loss, the struggle. When we meet the opportunity within it, the struggle ends. We are here to remember who we are as powerful, potent, unlimited creator beings – to step into that creative potential at the appropriate and sometimes incremental right time for each of us on our chosen life path. Each of us does this exactly right, because as we know better we respond and do better.